rochrisangel

01 February 2008 @ 03:46 pm

Lots of things running around...in my head

I always wonder what it's going to be like. Getting married that is. I mean... right now I'm kinda turned off by it since what is going on with well someone very dear to me... But when I look at some friends... who are getting hitched in a couple of months... I kinda wonder if I'll ever have that feeling when you know you've met THE ONE. Out of the guys I've dated... I've never actually felt that need to marry them. J-Mack thinks I'm just afraid of commitment... but to be honest ... I'm not really afraid of it... It's more me not seeing it in 'our' future... OUCH! Ok... so I may be afraid of commitment.... but isn't there a reason to why I'm afraid. I've come to the conclusion that I will stop being afraid of commitment when I meet that one guy who's going to 'sweep me off my feet'. So when is it going to be my turn? I don't know? one day... all I know is that... I don't want to rush into it and make a mistake of 'just settling'. I want to actually be inlove with someone. I want to actually be in that place where I can't imagine my life without him. A lot of my girlfriends tell me all the time that I'm the guy in the relationship cuz I don't ALWAYS want to hang out with my guy... Honestly... that would get annoying... It would be nice if we could depend on each other... and yet...be able to stand on our own... wouldn't it? or maybe I just haven't met that guy who I just want to see all the time... I'm a romantic... I believe in the knight in shining armour... I believe in fairy tale love... I guess I'm just waiting for that spark... that time when I'm all smiles all the time... waiting for that moment when I can say 'I feel completely safe in every level in this relationship'. That ofcourse is built by trust, honesty, loyalty, healthy communication, love, consideration, care and being intune with eachother COMPLETELY. Is that too much to ask? I know it's not something that happens overnight in a relationship and it's something that we both have to work on... but I think in the end it would be worth it.

I'm not too sure why I'm thinking of this right now... maybe it's because it's February... maybe because I've been questioning the status between...'us'... All I know is that... I want it to mean somthing... I don't want it to be some marriage a la Pam Anderson...

ouch!

Have a great weekend y'all!

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31 January 2008 @ 04:01 pm

Old School... our beautiful insanity

If you ask me if there's anything I would do over... I would say nothing. I've learned early on not to regret a thing as that's what made me the person I am today. That makes me sound a bit high on myself doesn't it? I don't mean it to be... I just mean... I'm happy with the person I turned out to be. So I'm content. I didn't follow a trend in my choices... I didn't do what EVERYONE was doing, and from everything I've done and everything I've seen... I know I've achieved many successes.

Though I wouldn't do anything over, I do wish I did more! I do wish sometimes that I matured earlier... so I would be more inclined to work harder for the future which back then would be the present now... does that make sense? Yea sometimes I think I had way too much fun and not enough hard work in high school. Even though I did great in college. I think I would have shed a few years of unnecessary college if I just worked hard in the first place. Does that make sense? LOL

I look at my cousin who is an artist. And no matter how many people tell me of how Art history will do nothing... I look at him and I admire the man he's become. He always followed his dream and perfected it and made it his. He's an amazing artist and a great person. There's so many people I know who are just afraid to follow their dream or do what THEY want to do because of what people might think. And I understand the whole "Parents know best" speech but... you know what? The one who actually followed their tallent... those are the people who are happiest in life. Doing something just because you are told to (ahem J-mack) in a certain timeline... in a certain way... might make you feel a bit lost in the end.

I remember a time when I tried to follow "the rules"... and I also remember how premature it felt. Does that make sense? It's like that cheesy line those "independent minds" say... "I go by my rules". I realised that if you want to achieve actual happiness it's the way to go... but you have to set yourself some limits for sure. Know your breaking point... know your weaknesses... and you'll figure out the rest. I learned that if you follow someone elses rules... you'll be living someone elses life, someone elses dream and that sucks! Because honestly... who are you in the end but an internal reflection of someone else.

* * *
B4 I Go...
I have a bone to pick with someone I know and worked with in the past.... YOU SUCK! Little miss Mother Theresa... you are only a good person in YOUR eyes. You don't like it when people have a bad day and take it out on someone else... but wake up woman! That what I saw you do EVERY FRIGGEN TIME I WORKED WITH YOU! You even treat your friggen boss (WHO BTW IS WAY BETTER THAN THAT) like crap even the new people notice it! So next time you want to judge someone by the way they talk and the way they are LOOK IN THE MIRROR! That's the reason why it's like walking on egg shells working with you... because of your attitude and mood swings little ms. Bipolar I'm so sick of hearing about it. I mean I used to really really like you as a person but you just made things hard to bare.... and YES I LOVE MY NEW JOB SO SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY ABOUT ME! The people here don't make me feel like a two year old on crack...out of control and disoriented!

Phew! that's enough of that!

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23 January 2008 @ 10:19 am

So sick of being sick...

I've had this "cold or flu or sinus infection" on and off since new Year. That sucks! As soon as I'm feeling a bit better... it comes back and slaps me in the face! GRRRR! The nice thing is... Jeff was supposed to fly out Tuesday morning back to Calgary... but he decided to extend his stay in Vancouver to take care of me. He told me to call him if I ran out of the essentials. See I knew "college jeff" was still in there somewhere...lol. I remember this one week I had the flu and I was sent home from work. He didn't know I was sick until he tried to call me at work. Next thing I knew I had two uniformed officers (Jeff and Tony (his partner)) at my door with everything you need for a bad cold... Cold medicine, buckleys, a thermal blanket, a humidifier, soup, boxes of klenex... I even got fuzzy pink slippers and three great romantic movies he rented for me. I remember Tony telling me I'm a spoiled bratt...LOL. After his shift that day he came to my appartment and stayed with me for 3 days straight. I was in bed for three days... but I had a "nurse" to take care of me. Though he didn't stay with me yesterday I knew he was just a phone call away. he called every two hours just to make sure I was in bed getting some rest.

I'm at work today... and I'm feeling much better but my nose is still stuffy... my throat still feels a bit gross and my nose is still running a marathon. And my head hurts to boot. But I'm ok. I don't think I will go to Maguire tonight though. I think I should get some rest. We'll see...

I thought of Ross today. Not sure why... but I hope everything is ok with him:) I don't really want to call as that would be taking a step back from what I'm trying to accomplish.

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18 January 2008 @ 03:00 pm

Quad Caramel Americano

I don't really know why I chose that subject but that's what I got at Starbucks today. The girl got my order wrong I just wanted a tripple... but she decided that I needed a quad. Bitch!

I just got word from the boss that we are snowshoeing on Monday! I've never been snowshoeing before so this will be a first. There's another thing to cross off my Bucket List. Yes I have a bucket list... I know I'm only 28 but it's never too early to start... Gives me more time to do EVERYTHING ON THAT LIST.

I'm really excited about where my job is going. I mean ultimately I'd like my career to move towards having my own talk show... but in the mean time this is good:) LOL. JK. I'm being trained in the Corporate Law department at work so I'm super amped! I was cool with the whole idea but then again... a bit scared! Everyone is like... it's pretty straight forward and when you get used to it... you'll breeze right through it. So the reason why I'm scared is not learning the whole thing... it's "what the hell happened to the person before me?" If it was straight forward then why was it so "messed up" by the last person? I mean I'm a smart girl I can't deny that (yes I'm a bit high on myself sometimes)... and I'm pretty good with change and taking on projects as I adjust quickly and effectively ... but come on now! So I'm keeping my fingers crossed and hopefully I can do this job well. All I know for now is that.... THERE IS GOING TO BE A SHITLOAD OF READING thankschris!

Super Bowl in 2 weeks! Oh I love superbowl weekend! It's such a great time of the year.   I've always wanted to go the Superbowl and watch it live but tix are like $8,500.00 each. hmmm maybe one day! I was thinking that would be an awesome gift to my parents for next year... for their birthdays/christmas/anniversary/mother's day/father's day/birthdays/christmas gifts:) LOL! Oh for the love of Football I have now added that on my bucket list!

As for Chester.... he hasn't bitten in a while... that's a good thing. He's such a calm dog. He's coming to his 5th month so he will get the snip snip soon. Apparently that's supposed to calm him down but.... he's quite calm already except when he sees you for the first time in a while.... then he's SUPER HYPER! He's such a little guy too he's pretty quick when he runs around. Yesterday it took me 10 mins to catch him before bed. He's such a sweetheart and I truly feel blessed:)

My sister is going to Montreal soon! I'm so happy for her. She's finally doing some travelling which I've been pushing her to do for so long. Little did I know that it was her good for nothing ex husband who kept saying no to travel... I'm just glad that she's finally out of that toxic relationship! 10 years is 10 years too long to be with someone who didn't know how to respect her.

Verbal diahrea is done... Gotta run.

Have a great weekend y'all! <3 Ro

HEDLEY TOMORROW YAY!!!

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17 January 2008 @ 03:14 pm

Planning a trip

Has anyone ever noticed how hard it is to plan a big trip? My friend Ida and I bought tickets for our trip in September and then we started booking little tours... but we ran into some problems. Most tours are SOLD OUT!   IT'S STILL 7 MONTHS FROM NOW PEOPLE!  So we called the tour people and they told us that there is a 1 year waiting list for most of their tours. OH my! So we opted to just play it by ear and maybe if we're lucky enough someone will cancel last minute.

About this trip though... I'm super excited to go. I'm not going to say where we are going because it's still so far away and I don't want to jinx it.   We got a great deal on flight and hotel and both Ida and I are still in shock. We still can't believe we are going.

Work's been GR8... Lot's of Drama in all fronts.. and it's funny since I'm the new girl... when they have internal drama (office drama) they come to me. I mean I've learned to be a good listener and a great secret keeper (yes I've learned the hard way that when it comes to secrets... Sharing definitely is NOT caring) so I don't mind... I'm kind of flattered. Is that wierd? Enjoying listening to peoples problems. I mean I think of it as a bonding process and with it being at my new job... it's kind of nice that they come to me:).  But problems suck. I just hope they know that I'm genuine when I say that I am here if they need me:)

On another note though... it's funny to me when I see one of my lawyers nap for about half an hour. But then I think of Europe and their siesta hour.   Which I definitely think they should implement here. Power naps reduces the risk of the running into the 3pm brick wall! Haha.. I'm such a lazy bum sometimes. I actually hate taking naps. It ruins my whole routine...   Speaking of routines... I was very sick for the first few weeks of the New Year and I MUST get back to a stable routine.

Well I must get going. Have I mentioned how much I love, love, LOVE my not so new job?;) I DON'T MISS CONVEYANCING AT ALL! haha....

Check ya later folks!!

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02 January 2008 @ 10:41 am

Ironic?

You know that song by Alanis Morrisette 'Ironic'. That totally describes my Christmas Holidays. See for 2 years I worked at a place where taking holidays meant you had to sit through weeks and weeks of guilt if you wanted even one day off and if you were sick... good luck getting paid for that day! So I spent all two years working... even if I was sick... with no holidays. So when I got a new job.. great I thought. We get Christmas holidays off PAID! YAY! My first week off work in two years. Now... ask me what happened,,, I GET SICK! DOUBLE THREAT! I get a chest infection.... so i'm caughing out a lung my last couple of days before holiday... then.... just when I feel better... I GET THE FRIGGEN FLU! So I did get the one wish that I would be able to sleep in... and get some rest... But damnit GINA! I didn't even get to ski this week which sucked XXL! the one day that I thought I felt better I decide to go up the mountain to see if I'd make it down alive.... and what happens... I get the Flu! You know what's so funny too... my Dog Chester even showed signs of the flu.... He threw up all last night... he sure wasn't a happy camper... I felt bad for him though... he's only 4 months and he looked so confused.

On a brighter note... I'm taking this as Mother Nature's way of telling me to slow it down. To leave all my working like a maniac days behind and make 2008 an even balance between work and play. Yeah that's right... from being in a coma from the flu Mother Nature came to me in my dream and I'm listening!

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19 December 2007 @ 02:14 pm

All I want for Christmas.. is... my Noah Calhoune

I'm listening to the radio and they're playing Britney's All I want for Christmas. And all I can think about it the Romantic Drama that has got me dreaming since 2001. I walked into the Chapters in Peterborough Ontario looking for a book that would keep my mind occupied during the 2 hour bus ride to Toronto. And by the end of that bus ride.... I was inlove with that book. That year... I bought a copy for EVERYONE on my Christmas list. When the movie came out I remember sitting at the theater ready to watch a Movie with Ross... <3 (one I believed could have been a Noah Calhoune but then again... I realised I dreamed more than I saw.... my friends knew it too)... and the preview came on. It took my breath away... I knew from the moment it began that it was The Notebook. I've read other romance novels ... but The Notebook.... was by far the one I'll always remember. And as I am a true "Secret" fan.... I am living that Romance. I will be with my Noah Calhoune in the New Year :)

As I wait.... J-Mack's a good distraction:)

I'm heading home y"all... I'm still not feeling so good:(

Hope y'all are having a great day!

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13 December 2007 @ 10:41 am

Lawyer talk...

So most of you know that I ... yes me... was supposed to go to law school. Though funds slowed me down a bit in that persuit. So now I'm working as a legal assistant (for now);). I was listening to Niki and Bram talk this moring... "ooooh so how was the Supreme Court?" "It was fun... kinda different..." Oh how I long for the day when someone will ask me that! I've been to the Supreme Court in Ottawa. Met a few people who are huge in the Canadian Justice system. I remember being so mesmerized by the way they spoke and the way they carried themselves. I was a wide eyed student then... but old enough to find it fascinating. I remember thinking to myself... One day I will be somebody here. Hmmm... This has led to one of my New Years resolutions. I will work harder towards that. I will re-enter school in a more full time basis... instead part time. So many people I know right now are doing full time school and full time work so if they can do it .... dude! I so can. I'm the queen of multitasking. This does mean though that I have to quit my part time job. What? Yes... well maybe I'll cut my hours down to only the weekends. Oh how that's going to go over well. But a girl's gotta do what girl's gotta do!

Oh how my head hurts today... An awkward hurt....

I look up for just a second and see.... OMG IT'S SNOWING! You know what that means! Skiing will be amazing this weekend! I can't wait. It's Ida's first time skiing so that will be a hoot! It would be kinda my first time too... as I have new gear... First time in my gear!. I just got new skis. Blue Solomons with new solomon boots, with new polls, new pants and new gloves, a new jacket.. yea... I splurged.... but dangit! it was well worth it. I will be up at the mountain most weekends this season! I'm equipped with my Y2Play pass and my Whistler 3 pack...I love BC!!!<3

Ok... So it's our Christmas party tomorrow. Both Christmas parties. During the day it's the Christmas party at my newer job... that should be fun... The peeps here seem to be pretty chill and so that should be cool... Then at dinner its the part time job. It's going to be the most awkward dinner ever. As EACH AND EVERY MEMBER of that place has approached me with their discomfort with that place. Ugh! the Drama!

I'm going to go frolic in the snow! TTYL!

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12 December 2007 @ 03:15 pm

Ross Gellar Syndrome

Tis the season! Yay it's almost Christmas.

I felt really ill today... all day. My eyes hurt, my tummy feels funny and my throat is burning... and I haven't had a drink yet.:)

As per the title of my journal entry... the Ross Gellar Syndrome. Remember that episode when Ross moved into Phoebe's appartment and everyone was having a retirement party for the Super... and all the tenants gave him a hard time for not pitching in for his retirement gift and wouldn't let him go to the party... Well see I'm the newest member of my new class at school. Only a few weeks old I am:) But when this girl approached me to put in $40 for the teacher's Christmas gift... I felt like... I haven't even met him! I mean I'm sure he's a nice guy and all but ... Am I really obligated to give a gift that's not from my heart? I think this ritual is simply to get the new girl to pitch in for no good reason. I mean Yes I'm all for giving this season ... but seriously now... $40 is kinda steep for someone who hasn't even met the recipient. Yea I give to charity ... and I don't know the recipient... but I think that's a different situation. So I refused... and now I'm uninvited to the "party"... lol. Whatevs... I'll just steal their thunder in class...lol.

I'm tired. Gotta go... Have a nice day y'all!

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amused

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06 December 2007 @ 03:22 pm

New Routine + Me = New Me

So I'm tired of being that... home, work, out with friend, home, work, home work... kind of girl. I remember a time when I was royally active and going to the gym every morning. So I've finally decided on a workout regime that would greatly suit my needs.

Mondays - Gym 6 - 7:30 am, Work 9am-5pm, Playtime:) 5-9pm

Tuesdays - Gym 6 - 7:30 am, Work 9am-5pm, Playtime:) 5-9pm

Wenesdays- Swim laps 6:30-7:30am, Work 9am-5pm, Work (2) 6-10pm

Thursdays- Gym 6 - 7:30 am, Work 9am-5pm, Playtime:) 5-9pm

Fridays - Gym 6 - 7:30 am, Work 9am-5pm, Playtime:) 5-9pm

Weekend - Catch up on sleep...lol:) and a whole lotta playtime:)

Hopefully I stick to this regime. I think I'd feel a whole lot better:) I'd probably feel a lot more energized (eventually)!
Keeping my fingers crossed:)

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06 December 2007 @ 09:34 am

Anger Management...

Ok, I was driving one morning quietly, smoothly, calmly until I looked at my rear view miror. This car... a dark gray Acura behind me. It started to annoy me as... me having a new car... it was speeding and jamming it's breaks as soon as it got close. When I looked closer I realised that... the lady driving the car was somewhat angry and yelling at the little toddler in the back seat. I kept driving... minding my own business but she just kept following me. I couldn't help but feel sorry for for the little guy in the back seat but he didn't seem phased by it. I soon noticed her on my route every morning this week... Doing the exact same thing. I'm thinking that's why the little guy could care less as this was a common occurance. So sad for the little guy... BUT... WHAT A WAY TO RUIN A MORNING WOMAN! Next time I see her acting up this way I'm going to say something.

I went to see "Awake" last night... Don't bother seeing it... believe the reviews... it was slow. I mean ... that movie had the potential to be a good movie... It was just slow.

I went to my usual coffee place this morning... and yes the Hottie was there... he makes the best lattes:)

Current Mood: awake

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03 December 2007 @ 01:39 pm

Dear Friend... I'm not sorry about your broken heart...

Sitting here... listening...
watching your tears burn your soul...
I can't help but wonder why you feel you've been wronged.
I know we're friends but I've made my feelings clear about this before
I'm sorry I'm not telling you words you want to hear...
I've listened to your stories about "the other"
How he provides the best "High"...
While your BOY sits at home... trying to figure out ways to please you...
How "the other" is so worth the risk you're putting yourself through...
Suddenly you Boy... figures you out...
And gives you a taste of your own medicine...
And now it's wrong?
I don't know how to tell you ...
While you sit here and feel sorry for yourself...
that you brought this on to yourself...
I want to tell you...
He was just following your lead...
Cheating on the one he "loved"
I want to tell you...
Karma is a bitch...
and hit's back with a vengeance...
I hate cheaters... you know that...
I know how it feels to "really" be betrayed
So don't cry to me about your broken heart...
Because honestly... It makes me giggle a little to see it shattered.

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disappointed

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30 November 2007 @ 01:31 pm

Coffee Detox, Gym schedule and everything else.

So I've made a decision. For about a week now I've been trying to figure out a New Years Resolution I can potentially stick to. For those of you who know me... you'll know that I... am addicted to coffee. So I've decided that this coming year one of my New Year's resolutions will be.... COFFEE DETOX! That's right people... Ro is going to quit coffee!. I kinda have this voice inside me that's telling me it's not going to last... but that just makes me that much more motivated to do it!. Reasons for this? Well... I've been depending on coffee since.... well after high school so 10 years now. I get bad headaches when I don't drink it. I want that to go away. I want to get to a point where I can stop being so annoyed until that first cup in the morning. I don't want that first cup every morning. I want to wake up ... and not look for it. So that's that.

I've also decided to go back to my old gym schedule. 6am gym time every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday. I remembered how good I felt going into work when I would go every morning. I've neglected the gym for a bit since my work schedule this year was PSYCHO! So... now that I have a job that allows me to leave on time with no worries about what tomorrow will bring.... I should be grand! GOD I LOVE MY NEW JOB!

It's Friday today.... 2:03pm... finishing up my lunch break... sipping on a *bucks --yes coffee grrrr.

My eyes hurt. TGIFF! Have a great weekend sweetnesses!

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29 November 2007 @ 10:03 am

New to THIS blog site.

So I've moved from M-Space blogging to here. I'm kinda new to this site so I'm sorry if the set up is kinda plain right now. For those of you subscribed to my myspace blog and my msn live space blog... I'm sorry I haven't blogged in a while. It's been a crazy 2 years. My move home from Ottawa was long but needed.   J-Mack and I decided a move out West would be ideal to get away fom the Drama that surrounded us in Ottawa/Toronto. So as soon as he got word that he was accepted to RCMP we began making plans to move our lives out West.     You know how every girl has that one bad boy who they cannot say no to?  J-Mack knew that the only way we could move forward with us... is for me to walk away from my life and "that boy" in Ottawa. So we moved... But as long distance relationships go... and families being at opposite ends of the country... our relationship was taking its toll.

So much has happned since my move. I stayed in sunny San Diego for 3 months to get to know my nephew and niece and hang out with my sister and to be a self proclaimed beach bum. And that experience alone openend my eyes to a world I thought was only on TV. It also was a time when I got proof of all my fears related to a situation my family was in. That I will save for a future blog as the wounds are sill healing.

When I moved back here I was in such a funk as I wanted badly to get back to working. But not at just any job I wanted a job that complimented my education. I was bitching for a week and a half until I found my way to M&Co. I learned most of what I wanted to know about Real Estate transactions there and the fire in me to want to buy a place of my own is burning more than ever. I made one great friend there, a few good friends and a few friends. Because this place was my first legal field job.... I will carry it wherever I go. But as most of you know... my boredom got the best of me and something inside me was telling me it was time to move on after a year and a half. Even the universe was sending me signs (in the shape of a "really mean person").  I've never been a fan of drama and negative people... and for those of you who know me well... I will shut down when I get too much attitude from someone. So I did. I started to hate certain days in a place I thought I'd love and going to work was starting to be so painful.

Something inside me was telling me I was at the end of my road with conveyancing. So without expectations I ventured out to search for employment elsewhere. At first it began as just a search as a part of me felt like I was way too comfortable at M&Co to just leave. But as the cards were dealt, I realised that this time in my life was way more than a transition period. I was going through a "growth spurt". I felt like I woke up one day in an interview in a firm downtown... in a field I never thought I would be interested in. Needless to say I got a new job and I find myself wandering into their tiny library by my desk to bury myself in one of their books.... and suddenly my ADD ceases and I-JUST-CAN'T-STOP-READING-THE-BOOKS. It's a lot more interesting than I thought.

Another thing that changed was... I sold my beloved REDD.   My Red Oldsmobile Achieva has retired. I loved that car no matter how many times it broke down, And on August 30, 2007 I became the proud owner of a Black 2007 Toyota Corolla which I've named Kenji. Great car! There's going LOTS OF ROADTRIPS MADE IN THIS CAR I TELL YA!

One last thing that has moved my life forward... On September 20, 2007 I adopted a very sweet Chorkie (half Chihuahua/ half Yorkie). His name was supposed to be Dolce Valentino and for the longest time I settled with this name. But in the end when he came home... I began to call the little guy Chester Benny. Yes after Chester Bennington:) He's been such an amazing little creature that has blessed me and my family in so many ways and I just adore seeing him everyday.

Current Mood: accomplished

Current Music: Linkin Park... duh!

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